How-To Fix Politics

In today’s global society, politics has become a game for narcissistic personalities to grab the spotlight by winning the most meaningless popularity contest of all, and giving these individuals, be they lacking in scruples, or practical experience, or aptitude, something resembling a measure of absolute power. Not only is this extremely obvious to the average person, but it has become well understood around the world that politics is a dirty profession, and politicians are all corrupt, whatever station they may win. Now maybe you may be saying, “wait, politicians do care,” and I agree, they care, about their reputation. They are constantly worried about people discovering their little bedroom indiscretions, or the state of their health, or how many tickets they have gotten. They are constantly smiling and shaking hands and waving at people, even though they secretly despise them. In more recent times, the supposedly humble politicians have gathered huge groups of well groomed employees around to shake hand with instead of average citizens.

All of this nonsense has to stop. As everyone already knows, politics is far separated from a moral calling. It is a popularity contest. Politicians are well known for playing dirty and making promises they can’t keep. Politicians should not really have to worry about moral issues, because they should learn what the people want, and give it to them. If everyone wants war, even if the politician doesn’t, the people should get their war. If everyone wants good health care and education, they should get the quality they expect. If a politician sleeps around, but does his job properly, nobody is harmed. If a politician is a terrible driver and loves to party, but comes to work on time and does an exemplary job, then no worries. Anything more would dehumanize the poor weary politician, and alienate him from himself, which is the worst thing anyone could ever do.

This brings us to the issue of corruption. It is widely accepted worldwide that anyone who runs for political office is corrupt. This is almost completely true in almost every case. Most people are a little bit corrupt even without running for office. Now lets do some elementary logic and make a decision about which politician you want ruling over you. I know that most people would say they don’t want a corrupt individual making decisions about them, so using simple logic, you would decide to vote for none of them. So who will fill these important positions, you might ask, and I, not being an anarchist, would have to agree and echo your question, along with billions of other people around the world.

The answer is, vote for someone who isn’t running for political office. Lets first get one thing straight. Politicians have been spending centuries trying to convince people that politics is a difficult and complex task. Well, that is a lie told by politicians who want more job security, even though nobody likes them. Politics is basically an upper management position in which you get to decide how complicated your job has to be, so by making politics seem as complicated as possible, and often failing in the process, politicians get to keep their hold onto power. Now that your mind is at ease, you should be able to pick someone with a little less guilt.

Now you might be wondering, how do you elect someone who isn’t running for political office? Who is out there available to do the job? The answer to that is complicated, yet very simple. Look around you. Look at those people who do a better than average job, and still somehow have time to take care of things like volunteer work, while you are exhausted, stuck sitting on your easy chair watching television or playing computer games. Now sit back and put a crafty smile on your face, stop envying them that their yard looks better than yours, and get a grassroots movement started, you are about to elect someone into office, and you are going to feel a sense of satisfaction that you got someone you always envied into a very difficult and punishing job, and all you had to do was sit in your easy chair.

In a proper democracy, the people are the royalty. In USA there have been times in which The People elected someone into office who didn’t even want the job. Now, this may sound cruel, or possibly a bad idea, since the person may not be qualified for the position, but like everyone knows, it has to be better than the current situation. Start a movement around The People, not around a single individual. Don’t make the person hold big fancy speeches that are basically meaningless. Don’t make the person kiss babies and shake hands with everyone. Government officials are lower than citizens, they are servants, they bow to the people, not the other way around. You should have no more respect for them than you had before they were elected. You should not put your trust in them, always question, always keep them honest, and if they make a mistake, gather together into a majority and make your voice heard until they change their position.

The USA is a special case. Their right to bear arms was a purposeful measure to keep the people dangerous, always ready to rise up in a rebellion in case the government tries to do something it has no right to do. Once this right is removed, the government becomes the royalty again, as it always was historically in other nations, and the people lose. You have probably seen, exemplified in other countries, the state of civil uprising in which civilians have no weapons to defend themselves. The rulers slaughter their own people, they prance their military around and go on a rampage. Other nations have to smuggle weapons in to help get the rebellion started. This is an outrage to any patriotic US citizen, and a pitiful state of affairs indeed.